Interesting Items

I got a catalog in the mail today and found a few interesting things… and not necessarily for me, just good stuff.

• A book titled Mean Girls All Grown Up: Surviving Catty and Conniving Women by Hayley DiMarco.
• A new Bible trivia/strategy board game called Inklings.
• Scattergories: Bible Edition
• A new VeggieTales coming out October 29 called Lord of the Beans.
• About two pages of CS Lewis stuff, especially the Chronicles of Narnia merchandise.
• A book by Paul Coughlin called No More Christian Nice Guy. When being nice – instead of good – hurts men, women and children; instead of faking nice, men should be gentle and genuine, benevolent and bold.
  

Random Thoughts 9/28/05

• Every night we pray with Brennan and Tanner. Brennan asked several weeks ago that God wouldn't let him have bad nightmares. Well, Tanner (three years old) latched on to this and now, every night, he prays, "Dear Dahd [God], pees, good notmares, is name, amen." It's hard not to giggle. Brennan, who turned five Monday, is growing more articulate day by day. I'm routinely impressed with quantity of information he consumes and retains.
• I heard a minister the other day make reference to bad PR his church had received in the community that was hurting his ministry. When did the bad PR happen? The 1950's! Not only are the elderly still bitter, they've taught younger generations to have the same prejudice against that particular church. Ouch.
• Elijah is becoming quite a ham (that's a reference to his personality not his girth). He tilts his head and shrugs at you. He smirks and casts glances over his shoulder. He's just pretty adorable… except for when he's throwing a tantrum. He's at that age now where the terrible twos begin. In our experience that's from age 18-42 months, lasting about two years. Tanner is just now coming out of it, where he can actually be reasoned with instead of just being a frustrated ball of stubbornness.
• I'm still in mortal fear of having a girl. The other day we were at McDonald's and these little girls were dominating the play area. One little despot in particular stood out. She struck me as the snottiest, bossiest, cruelest, little person in a dress I'd ever seen. Yikes! And she was maybe 4 years old. What are her parents going to do ten or twelve years from now?
• We're settling in to some names for the new baby. Our girl name right now is Annaliese Sophia. Our boy name right now is Graham Ryker. Ryker is Dutch for Richard, my dad's name and my middle name. It was either that or Ricardo (not really). We also liked the name Garrison but we got such a sour reaction from folks that we balked.
• We had a minister's meeting yesterday in Dekalb, Mo. It was encouraging to spend the time with the other ministers. Misery loves company? It's so easy to become discouraged in ministry, to just have all the wind taken out of your sails. Everything can be going great and then just one person can throw you into a tailspin. It makes all the difference that we love the church. The ministers who don't don't last long.

Just a Suggestion

You really have to wonder about the pull-out-now, cut-and-run crowd. It would be a death sentence to thousands of freedom loving Iraqis. It would recreate a Taliban-like oppression for the Iraqi people. It would leave thousands of terrorists alive and looking elsewhere (read: "here at home") to kill Americans. Quitting Iraq cold turkey could be extremely dangerous.

Well here's a bit of advice for the protesters. Sorry, but I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw this one.

The Impossible Dream

It turns out Al Qaeda has a plan. And they have a book!

So how do you take over the world? The terrorists have a long term, step by step, game plan. For example:

Phase 6, “world conquest.” By 2022, the rest of the world will be conquered by the righteous and unstoppable armies of Islam. This is the phase that Osama bin Laden has been talking about for years.

By no means are things perfect on our end, but it seems that it's not really working all that well for Osama and company either. In fact the only real way for Al Qaeda to gain any momentum whatsoever is for the Americans to just give up. If you can convince the American people that we're losers and we should go home and stick our heads in the sand, then we're toast. But otherwise this plan will need to be revised a few times in coming years.

Read all seven steps here.

Rant Back Atcha, part 2

The conversation continues. If you'd like to see the other side there is a link in the comments of the part 1.

I wrote:

Where to start?

Sorry for not linking to your site from mine. I usually don't if there's offensive language there. But I'll leave it up this time to be fair.

Again, there's no need to stereotype me. No crucifix is hanging over my bed. I don't use fear to control people. I don't "talk" to God or hear voices, though I do pray. I wasn't imprinted by my parents, trapped to believe whatever they believed.

My beliefs are not based on the need for an emotional crutch. I'm not an emotionally needy person at all, in fact I'm quite analytical and open minded. And Jenn, I'm not going off a translation. I took 6 semesters of Koine Greek in college and can read the original texts for myself. Their reliability and harmony is humbling, so don't be dismissive so quickly.

I believe what I believe because of evidence, logic, and reason, not bitterness or political correctness. I've investigated both sides of the argument. I'm going to guess that you can't say the same, Edelman, because the way you talk about Xnty shows you don't understand it very well. And Jenn, that goes for you too. Your Episcopal priests must have left out the part where Jesus excluded any and every other path to God but the one that goes thru him. So you either take Xnty by itself or you're forced to leave it out of the mix. That's part of the mutually exclusive issue I referenced earlier.

Edelman, you're right in a way that I support part of your argument. I detest the blind-faith-folks who won't ask questions about what they believe and why. Real Christianity stands up to this scrutiny, but Mormonism, Islam, and others start falling apart when you begin asking questions. So they have to rule by intimidation. Some of the greatest minds in history (Newton, Pasteur, Bacon, Kepler, Pascal, Boyle, Faraday, Kelvin, Carver, et al.) have reasoned thru Xnty and found that it embraces the questioner and provides coherrent answers about reality (some of these guys, like Newton, wrote more on Xnty than they did in their other fields of study). Religious folks (in a bad sense) of all stripes often haven't asked the questions and won't suffer those who do (Crusades, Inquisition, Terrorism, church hierarchies, etc.). But that's NOT the Xnty you find in the Bible. Not even close.

But I'd like to have you consider the issue of arrogance. Anyone who says my way is the only way (just because it's mine), ought to be dragged behind a horse. What arrogance! Bigots usually won't even give a hearing to the other side. They ASSUME they know everything they need to know and dismiss it out of hand.

What arrogance to say, philosphically speaking, that God does NOT exist. To know that empirically would mean that you have searched every corner of this universe and every point in time and have scientifically proven He's not there. Sorry can't be done.

What arrogance to say I've come up with an idea that seems good to me and I'm going to just declare it to be reality. If I say Edelman is actually a 70 year old chinese woman that doesn't make it true even if I sincerely believe it. You are what you are (the truth about you) apart from my opinions and understanding. If a million people try to guess your birthday, only 1 out of 365 (give or take) will actually be right. Not all guesses are equal. Some are categorically wrong, even though they have the same goal and intention.

To recap: my opinion, my sincerity, majority rule or conventional wisdom, whatever my parents believed, etc. does not determine what is actually true. To think otherwise is the height of arrogance.

IF God is real in any sense, then the same is true of him. He is what he is regardless of how many people think otherwise. Even if everyone thought otherwise, it has no impact on the truth.

Edelman, you seem to have defined God as something that does not exist in reality (outside of the minds of people). Can you prove that? Can anyone? Jenn, your understanding has the reality of God determined by the various and conflicting whims of people's thoughts. Does that make sense to you?

Aren't both of those claims things you can't prove logically? To persist in something you can't prove is dogmatism of the worst kind… and arrogant.

Not wanting to be arrogant, I would claim to know nothing (agnostic, no one can really be atheist unless they just have a chip on their shoulder). But that's where the claims of Bible interrupt my otherwise blissful ignorance.

It claims that the creator revealed himself to the creation. Hmmm… yeah right… what's the evidence? Changed lives, changed nations, changed history. Inexplicable wisdom and truth about who and what I am. Ok, test this. Is it logical? Does it hold water? A lot of the time the people don't but the actual words do.

And what if the creation rejected the creator? Seems reasonable, it has happened in my own heart. What if the creator chooses to provide a remedy to rebridge the divide? Now I would be interested in finding out more about that.

Key point: I want to find out more truth about the creator. I'm not going to be satisfied with opinions and conventional wisdom. It's an act of humility to seek the truth regardless of my own feelings and the feelings of others.

Books to read if you're really open minded about this: A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, an atheist journalist who set out to prove Xnty wrong by investigating the facts. C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, a deep examination of the existence of God and truth of the claims of Jesus.

If you haven't given these a fair reading, you can't say you've been honest in the debate. By the way, I have a copy of On the Origin of Species on the shelf behind me as I type this.

Please feel free to contact me. In fact if you're ever in Kansas City, you're welcome in my home. I like to stay up late and debate stuff.

Rant Back Atcha

Here's my response to a blogger that wrote a rant on his site about religion. He's basically against it. His argument in a nutshell was, "Wake the %$!# Up!" Then another person, Jenn, wrote that all religions have the same goal/outcome.

My response:

Thanks for all the stereotyping and ad hominem attacks guys.

Some of us "born agains" are nice people with nice families who make a real difference in the lives of hurting people around us. Some of us have college degrees and can think for ourselves quite nicely thank you. Enough anyway to finally see past our own bitterness and sort out our youthful angst as thinking adults.

Most of the Christians I know are nothing like what you described. They are, on the whole, the most honest and trustworthy people I've ever known. No hidden agendas. No "blind" faith. In fact most Christians I know are believers in spite of what their hippy parents and atheist teachers taught them.

Instead, they recognize that reality is absolute and relativism is self-refuting. The notion of everyone's own faith being "ok" is just political correctness. You're just afraid to say someone is flat out wrong. And Jenn, how can mutually exclusive philosophical positions both be true in any real sense? In what universe does "whatever you want to believe" just come true like a fairy tale? We would each have to be gods for that to even start to work. But that doesn't work in and of itself; it's just an opiate for those who don't want to do the hard work of finding real answers to tough questions.

You'll probably just blow me off so I'll quit now. But I'd bet if you met some actual Christ-followers instead of just the usual religious folks, you'd reconsider a lot of the things you've said.

The Point of Playing

Here's a note that I posted on my fantasy football website in response to some very pointed "smack" talk among the owners.

A Note from "Dr. Phil"

Q. Why do you think you started playing Fantasy Football?

A. You like football and (for guys especially) you like to obsess over something.

Q. How can fantasy football help you, i.e. why keep playing?

A. This league is about learning to play well with others. You will eventually learn to value the new friendships over the win/loss records and the new-found ability to get along in a competitive situation over the actual football games.

It's a means to an end: If you think the end is anything to do with football or winning, you'll end up alone and miserable.

If you realize the end has nothing to do with football, you'll find yourself in a room full of people laughing, watching the game together years from now.

It's just a game. Lose one once in awhile. Be happy for someone else. It's good for you.


--


By the way, I'm 2-0.

One Down

Well, Shannon and the ladies from MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) left this morning at 6am and the boys and I survived the day. We had a lot fun really. It was a good day off--just staying home and playing with the boys. Brennan and I did a lot of spelling today. The boys also helped me staple some papers (I provided a little guidance). We even got out and went to the gas station. Tanner picked up a flattened, dead toad and wanted to carry it. Brennan stood right in front of an officer and said out loud, "Look Daddy, there's a police man. He's gotta gun. He shoots the bad guys when they try to kills us. We dial 9-1-1 to call him." The cop just kinda laughed. Brennan is now banned from watching television. Or talking to other children.

Camp Update

Things went extremely well at the church camp meeting. In general there was complete agreement with the idea of reorganizing. A few people had reservations, but that's a healthy thing.

Hopefully anyone who feels threatened will see past the surface and understand the significance of what we're trying to do. This is the Lord's camp, let's work like we're working for Him!

And if it IS broke?

Tonight we have a big meeting at Church Camp. This is the same camp I went to growing up and where I met my wife, Shannon. I've been teaching, preaching, and otherwise helping with this camp for 12 seasons now.

Born and raised in northeast Kansas, I know well the saying, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well, what if it IS broke? This camp has been broken in several ways for years. Most of it was behind the scenes and was simply a matter of doing the best with what we had. But it has become urgent for us to do better. We have both individuals and entire congregations that have left because of the way this camp was run. And it's going to get worse. In spite of some great programming and a few remaining faithful volunteers, we are running out of time, out of people, and out of options.

To be blunt, we have a lot of work to do. With a few exceptions, almost every issue of management and organization is either unaddressed or outdated. The need for improvement and coordination is everywhere and that pressure is dumped on our deans to wing it and smooth things over.

I do NOT want to see heads roll tonight, instead I want to see each of the people involved in a position where they can be successful. As a minister, I want to see them get a second chance. So instead of changing 100 different details tonight, we're proposing a restructuring of the organization. Let's create a system with accountability and clearly define everyone's rolls. Let's build a simpler, more efficient system that actually makes sense.

Not having the wisdom to come up with this from scratch, we simply made a few phone calls and received the help of fellow church camps, which have already addressed the needs that we are facing. This has been invaluable. Not only does it show us that this is doable, but it has provided us working solutions that can be immediately applied to our situation.

In short, things can start getting better immediately. Camp will continue and we will have assurance for ourselves and others that this ministry is on track.

Remember this camp does not belong to us, it belongs to the Lord. It's not for us, it's for the churches.

Like My Soapbox

Even though almost everyone refers to music stands and pulpits as podiums, technically the podium is only the part you (and the lectern) stand on. A podium (from the Greek for foot) is a type of small stage (or the short wall in front of a stage), but no one seems to know that. A podium is what an ochrestra conductor stands on. When someone invites you "up to" the podium, they're asking you to stand "on" it, not "behind" it.

Some barbarian dictionaries (like Webster’s, grrrrr…) accept this “wrong” definition because of its popular usage. Linguists argue about this kind of thing, i.e. should a dictionary record all language usage, right or wrong, or should it record only the correct usage of a language? How do you settle an argument if you pick up two different dictionaries and get two different answers? Scrabble players will now be forced to accept "y'all", "yup" and "pert near." Imagine the anarchy! There will be violence in the streets!

I'm generally against chaos, but at the other end of the spectrum, some languages, like Spanish and French, actually have governing academies that try to control vocabulary and grammar. Most people who speak those languages just ignore the experts and borrow an English word. You can go just about anywhere in the world and say "computer" or "cell phone" or "big mac" and people know exactly you're talking about.

English, however, is pretty much mob rule. Hence lecterns have somehow become podiums, even though we don’t put our feet on them.

God's Will

We had fantastic news the other night. The church approved a significant raise for both ministers! I was a little stunned when I received the phone call -- in fact I probably didn't convey enough gratitude. But we're thrilled! It's expensive to live in KC (compared to other places we've lived) and we've been barely getting by. This will help so much!

It has always been my conviction that if you commit yourself to the Lord's will then he'll take care of you. He knows what you need and he's not going to forget about you. You just have to get up everyday and keep at it. He'll take care of the rest.

The problem is when we determine God's will after the fact. There are a lot of ministers out there who get "called" to a new church, when in reality they were just disgruntled or poorly paid or too lazy at their old ministry. It's nearly blasphemous to claim that God is responsible for the slipshod, fly-by-night, here-today-gone-tomorrow state of most ministries. Is it God's will that most ministers average less than two years at a location, and preaching ministers less than four years?

Instead, it's the Lord will that we are faithful to our ministries, that we work hard and with integrity. It's His will that we set an example as husbands, fathers, and humble servants. The laziness and egotism that exists is an albatross that hinders us from running the race as we ought to. The last five years, I knew that God would not be unfaithful. When I needed Him most, He has provided. The only variable has been my faithfulness.

Are we seeking His will? Or are we leaning on our own understanding?

None Too Pleased

Our cat, Kala, is less than thrilled that we're adding a fourth child to the family after her arrival. Cats tend to think of one person as plenty and a crowd of six as downright superfluous. So her response has been to declare war.



Last night she walked up to me and puked right on my foot. I wasn't wearing shoes. Thanks.

The kitty needs to understand that this is a battle she won't win (especially with my wife). So she needs to lay down her arms (cat puke, shedding, etc.) and learn to coexist. Or else.

Random Thoughts 9/13/05

• I never thought 75º would seem cold. Our AC has been out and it's been about 82-85º each night cooling down to 80º by morning. Well last night it was 75º and I needed a blanket! Hopefully, it'll stay cool thru fall. I've been feeling kinda funny the last few days -- achey but not in pain at all. A good night's sleep would probably help a lot. (And so would losing 50 pounds and getting some exercise and eating right and taking vitamins. Or so I've heard.)
  
• Wednesday nights are going great at the church. We used to have about 10 or 20 people come to study. Last week's Family night ran 100; the week before was 105. Pretty awesome! We actually have more people there than at Sunday School (about 90-ish). Sunday morning attendance has been around 135 or so, sometimes higher.
  
• My brother-in-law Craig has been down in Louisiana the last three weeks working on storm damaga from Hurricane Katrina. One of his co-workers was killed yesterday and they're not sure why yet. Craig said the deceased didn't appear to have burns (from an electrocution). He was 27 and from Emporia, Ks. Keep those guys in your prayers; they do dangerous work.
• My first week of fantasy football went well. As usual, one hour it all seems hopeless, the next you're sure you'll win. Either way you end up watching half of Monday Night Football biting your nails and jumping up to check the scores on the internet. The Warhawks are now 1-0!
  

Allergic Reaction

I didn't think my allergies were all that bad this year. That is until our AC went out and we've had to keep the house open a bit more (ok, ok, normally we're sealed up like last week's leftovers--and kept at about the same temp).

So in addition to some warmer evenings and a few more houseflies, I'm getting a healthy dose of pollen and dander and other allergens. Many people would just run right out and get an allergy shot. Sure, and I could too… IF I wanted to run the risk of an unsterilized needle getting broken off in my arm leading to a near-lethal, coma-inducing infection that can only be resolved by dramatic amputation, blood transfusions, and some sort of exploratory surgery!!!

[rocks back and forth in the corner, rubbing one arm, while mumbling "no needles, no needles, no needles"]

Ahem… where was I? Oh yeah… in lieu of a shot, Shannon has convinced me (between sneezes) to take a generic Claritin.

"Once a day" and it tastes like cherry candy while it dissolves on your tongue! (I admit that easily impressed right now.)

So I'm taking my Claritin, just biding my time until the weather turns cooler and we can shut the house back up. You know, so that it's safe from the needles.

Penguin Doctors

A few moments ago Brennan (5) and Tanner (3) came running down stairs, each holding a stuffed penguin toy, and started hopping around their mother yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! When we grow up we're going to be Penguin Doctors!"

"Oh you are?"

Brennan began explaining, "When we're the age Daddy is…" glancing at me to double check if I'm big enough to care for penguins, "…Daddy's age, we will get them out of their cage because they will be sick."

Tannner echoed, "Dur sick!"

Brennan continued, "We will take care of them! When we're all grown up! We'll be Doctor-Pets!"

"Dur sick! Da penguns are! When wur growd up…" Tanner tends to drift off, especially when Brennan elects himself to do all of the talking.

"Yes, boys, you would make good veterinarians when you grow up."

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Our boys have started praying at bedtime in recent weeks. We had tried to pray with them before but Brennan and Tanner were both shy about going along with it. But of late, they have taken a keen interest and have insisted on bedtime prayers.

Tanner always goes first. He used to mumble incoherently but now you can make out a little bit of what he says. Tanner never peeks and is emphatic as he prays, shaking his head with a furrowed brow, sometimes biting his lip. It's the sincerest thing I've ever seen. Last night he thanked God for "making all da people… I love da people." I'm not sure if he meant his family or the folks at church or what. Maybe he has a fan club?

Brennan is more precise in his prayers. He wants God to not let him have nightmares or to protect the baby in Mommy's tummy. He thanks God for making food or for making grass and trees grow. Brennan seems far more self-conscious, not wanting to say anything wrong and peeking to check for our approval as soon as he's done.

We both pray for them and they listen closely to what we say and how we say it. I'm eager to teach them that God is someone you can actually talk to, not just a target for you to repeat mantras at. So we have avoided any of the traditional "children's prayers." I feel that decision has already made this a richer experience.

Return to Normalcy

Pssst…

NFL Football starts tomorrow night!

And they play football all afternoon this Sunday! And Monday night too!

And it continues for almost 5 months.

[Sighs with deep satisfaction and contentment.] Hmmm…

Flabbergasted

Uh… I'm just shocked. An NBC television crew went to a Wal-Mart that was being looted and found the police joining in the looting! Here's how Newsmax reported it:

New Orleans Cops Join in Looting

A handful of police in hurricane-ravaged New Orleans joined with looters yesterday in cleaning out store shelves and pilfering merchandise that had nothing to do with survival.

While the overwhelming majority of Big Easy cops were performing admirably under staggeringly difficult circumstances, an NBC camera crew filming looters at a local Walmart captured two policewomen filling a shopping cart to the brim with shoes.

Asked what she was doing, one of the unidentified officers told reporter Martin Savidge: "I'm just doing my job" - before abandoning her shopping cart to resume her patrol. Her partner apparently continued looting unfazed by NBC's presence.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune also carried reports of police looting, noting in Wednesday editions:

"Some officers joined in taking whatever they could, including one New Orleans cop who loaded a shopping cart with a compact computer and a 27-inch flat screen television. Officers claimed there was nothing they could do to contain the anarchy, saying their radio communications had broken down and they had no direction from commanders."

"We don't have enough cops to stop it," one beleagured cop told the paper. "A mass riot would break out if you tried."

While smaller merchants guarded their storefronts with shotguns, others made excuses for the lawlessness.

"To be honest with you, people who are oppressed all their lives, man, it's an opportunity to get back at society," a bystander told the New York Post.

Some New Orleans residents were less sanguine about the deteriorating civil order.

"You know what sucks," one local tavern owner told the Times-Picayune. "The whole U.S. is looking at this city right now, and this is what they see."

Here's a link to the actual video as it aired on MSNBC.

On what planet do you walk in to the local Wal-Mart, loot it, and walk away feeling alright? And the cops? I wouldn't have the gall!

Patently Unfair

I didn't think I could be shocked anymore. But the seething hatred for President Bush has emerged as ridiculous criticism over Hurricane Katrina and the destruction of New Orleans. I heard a caller on the radio today say that these events prove that Bush and the Republicans want black people to die so that there will be less people to vote Democrat. WHAT??!!

Others have claimed that the National Guard was sent to shoot black people. There was talk of shooting looters (which is not unheard of in times like these) but doesn't the accusation here assume that looters must be black? Isn't that racist?

I also want to know how you blame President Bush for not building better levies? Shouldn't the Democrats who have governed that city and state have done something in the last 50 years to fix this? Couldn't they have done more?

Ben Stein wrote the following in The American Spectator:

Why is it that the snipers who shot at emergency rescuers trying to save people in hospitals and shelters are never mentioned except in passing, and Mr. Bush, who is turning over heaven and earth to rescue the victims of the storm, is endlessly vilified?

What church does Rev. Al Sharpton belong to that believes in passing blame and singling out people by race for opprobrium and hate?

What special abilities does the media have for deciding how much blame goes to the federal government as opposed to the city government of New Orleans for the aftereffects of Katrina?

If able-bodied people refuse to obey a mandatory evacuation order for a city, have they not assumed the risk that ill effects will happen to them?

When the city government simply ignores its own sick and hospitalized and elderly people in its evacuation order, is Mr. Bush to blame for that?

Read the whole article here.

No AC

Our air conditioning died Saturday. The old beast was probably 25+ years old and was costing us a small fortune to run. Right now we're just trying to tough it out until we can come up with a plan to replace it. Praise the Lord that it's already September--there should only be a few more weeks of real heat.

It's hard to imagine that just a generation or so ago, everybody did without AC.

Barbaric. Totally barbaric.

Now What?

Shannon and I were looking online at the Social Security Administration's list of baby names. It's interesting to see what each name ranked each year.

The problem is we've already used our favorite boy names. We're also kind of picky:

• We don't want a name that's too common. It bothers us that Elijah is in the top 100.
  
• We don't want a made-up name. Nonsense spellings (misspellings?) are also out.
• We don't like names that are easily nicknamed, unless it's on purpose. We're ok with calling Elijah "Eli," but calling James "Jim" when you wanted James seems like a wasted effort. The same goes for giving a name you have no intention of actually using.
  
• We like strong names, especially if they have a good historical/biblical tie. Well… except for Judas and Adolf. And most of them are too common already.

If you have a boy name suggestion let us know.

We already have a girl name or two that we're pretty much locked in on.

2500 Posts

Hey, we flew past another small milestone yesterday. 2500 hits. And yes, I know that many websites do 2500 hits/hour. But for me that's pretty good.

I'm also closing in on my 200th post. I'm not currently planning anything celebration-wise, but we'll see.

Chew Toy

Brennan asked me this morning, "Dad, can we get a bird?"

"Well, son, what kind of animal likes to eat birds?"

He thought for a moment, "Cats eat birds."

"And what do we have?"

"A cat," he admitted. But he rebounded quickly and asked, "Can we have a dog?"

"And what do dogs do, son?"

Deflated, Brennan began to shuffle off and mumbled, "They chew on cats."