I went and had my blood pressure taken at Wal-Mart. I'd been feeling kinda funny the last few months (no surprise, as I'm quite a bit overweight) and then last week I started having little twinges of pain in my legs and then my arms too.
So I went and got it checked. I'm just shy of 29 years old, so I'd like to think that I've got a few more miles left in me. But I also know enough to live as if the Lord is coming back tomorrow, so I'm very content with my life, my relationships, and what I do with my days.
Nevertheless, I have to say I'm a bit shaken with the prospect of serious illness (it's very inefficient you know and not a little uncomfortable). So I've determined that I just have to give up.
You expected "buckle down, straighten up, try harder, work, work, work!" didn't you? You see, my sin of poor physical stewardship is just that, a sin. I could potentially buckle down and make some headway by sheer force of will, but that will only work for awhile and it addresses a symptom, not the problem. In fact, any potential success would only be like pulling on the corner of a too-small fitted sheet only to have a different corner pop out of place. How many times will I keep repeating this? Will I eventually quit and leave the far corner undone, hidden under the bedsheets?
I need the problem itself fixed. And the first step is to give up control. I've been in control for three decades and my track record speaks for itself. I need the One who made me to actually have control. And permanently. For real this time. Or things will never change.
By the way, my blood pressure was 118/79.
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