I read one reviewer who said that nothing's easier than driving through the plot holes of a Michael Bay film, so I won't belabor the point. But here's an interview I did with myself early this morning:
Me: So, Jared, what're you up to?
Myself: I'm driving back from watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.
Me: Isn't it like 3:30 in the morning?!
Myself: Yes, it was "midnight" showing. My friend Mike took me to a sold-out showing (you're the greatest, Mike!).
Me: So what was the film about?
Myself: I'm really not sure. It was a real challenge to follow what was happening to whom and why? I'm just not sure. But robots were fighting each other and military stuff was blowing up. There was a lot of that; very loud and explosive. In fact, I'd say it was about a two and half hour long explosion… with robots. Oh, and Michael Bay isn't good with geography, so just ignore any information related to an actual location; you won't need it anyway.
Me: Were the robots convincing?
Myself: Still not sure… but they were impressive. But most of the time it was a closeup of one silver robot wrestling with another silver robot and you couldn't tell which was which.
Me: Was it kid-friendly?
Myself: Not unless you like your grade-schooler cussing and lusting after half-naked coeds like a frat boy. If mom and dad are okay with exposure to that stuff, then yeah, this movie is perfect for the pre-adolescent mind. My theory is that Michael Bay is himself only about 12 or 13 years old and makes his movies with those sensibilities.
Me: So were you embarrassed to see it?
Myself: I was okay with leaving under the cover of darkness. With sunglasses. And a hoodie.
Me: Do you recommend it?
Myself: An edited version with less cursing and less slow-motion, half-naked girlfriends would be a really fun movie experience. It was so close, but NOT family friendly to the 12 and under crowd. It was a midnight showing of a PG-13 movie, yet parents were there with little kids. *sigh*
Me: Get some sleep. Thanks for the heads up.
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