Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Sissified

I think it all starts when, moving in together for the first time, the newlywed wife says, "I want to do the living room with a faux [blah blah blah] and [blah blah] accents with nice little coordinating [blah blahs]. The husband looks at her and says, "uh, yeah… sure."

He then wakes up years later with a frilly bed and antique stuff hanging everywhere and he realizes he's become a big sissy. Do I recommend trying to change? NO! It's too late. You can learn to live with your condition or make things much worse than they already are (Prov 21:9). All you can really do is accept the progressive nature of being sissified and resign yourself to it.

I've fallen deeper into the abyss just this week. I've now officially transitioned from bar soap to a luffa. I've never felt so exfoliated.

Thank goodness football season is about to start. Returning to the gridiron, the field of battle, will restore a sense of primal order, a militaristic emphasis on beating other men to the ground, and the establishment of male dominance in a black-and-white world of violence and conflict.

It will also give me time to learn to crochet.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You may be a "sissy" but you sure smell good! As far as I am concerned having your spouse want to be close just for a wiff is a worthy trade off. Now quite your whinning, you know you love it.

Anonymous said...

Next time I leave a comment I promise to proof read.

Now QUIT your whinning!

Anonymous said...

I have a three comments:

1. I really could have lived the rest of my life not knowing that you use a luffa.

2. You shouldn't know what a luffa is, and if you do you shouldn't admit it.

3. I will not cofirm nor deny my knowledge of what a luffa is.

Anonymous said...

By the way the above comments are mine

David T.

Thumper said...

I did have to look up luffa in the dictionary to see how to spell it. That counts for something doesn't it?

Oops, gotta go. Tea time.