Kansas

I get countless email forwards containing humorous or devotional material. Here's one I received recently that, though it's not necessarily new, was amusing anyway. It was attributed to Jeff Foxworthy, but I'm guessing he's either not the author, or the jokes have been modified for a Kansan audience. Nevertheless, enjoy.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Kansas.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Kansas.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas.

If "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend, you live in Kansas.

If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Kansas.

If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Kansas.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Kansas.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Kansas.