Intimidation

I'm 3/5 done with my preaching this week and half done with my teaching assignments. Looking back, I've noticed in me a real insecurity.

I've preached up here for years and I really enjoy preaching to and teaching high school kids. But I think I know what the source of the lack of confidence that I'm feeling is. For most of these kids, this is their second week of camp this summer. The first week, back in June, they heard one of my favorite preachers, a college professor of mine that I consider one of the best preachers I've ever heard. He's really, really good. And they were blown away by him.

And I have to follow that!

I probably shouldn't let that bother me–this isn't a competition–but I'm sure that's why I feel so anxious. It seems petty and small to feel inadequate over something like this. God works in us and through us to accomplish His will; often God uses our weakness to demonstrate his power and glory. I should know this. I should know that the ability to teach or preach is God's working, not mine.

But I'm sitting here, feeling like a cheap imitation. God help me to stop focusing on what others think, good or bad. If I were only thinking of bringing glory to Him, I wouldn't be feeling this at all.