I was asked a few questions about my anniversary that I thought were worth sharing:
Q. Does fourteen years feel any different that five or ten?
A. Yes, in subtle ways. Shannon said she thought this was our best year, and I'd have to agree. We are both actively working to be better communicators, better teammates. This is paying off as we work better together and parent better because of the energy we're investing in it.
A lot of people measure a "good year" by the lack of major catastrophes. But in a marriage a good year ought to be measure by how well both good and bad times were handled.
Q. So it's like a fine wine, getting better with age?
A. No. A wine improves as you leave it alone. But marriage is more like a house. If you leave a house alone, it'll fall apart. But if every year you do the regular maintenance along with a few improvement projects, it will increase in value – even greater than the sum of the individual investments.
Too many people treat their marriage with a hands-off attitude, saying, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." But if a marriage isn't actively maintained, you'll get so far behind that you may feel it's too overwhelming to do anything about it.
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