Letting Him Cry

Every now and again we get a comment to the effect that we "won the baby lottery." That our kids are just naturally well behaved and polite and we just got lucky.

Not so much.

First of all, our kids aren't always well behaved. A good deal of our interaction with them is correcting selfish and unreasonable behavior. Consistent discipline is the most loving thing we do for them.

But our children also benefit from regular schedules. My boys have a had regular meals, naptimes and bedtimes, almost without exception, their entire lives. And generally we see the positive consequences of this: they're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and can function normally because they are well rested. We don't drag them out of bed at 6am or keep the little ones awake for the whole afternoon. We're on a schedule, we stick to it, and they're happier for it.

Except for Graham.

Graham is special. He's the baby. He's the smallest and most delicate for his age. He easily may be the last child we'll have naturally (leaving room to adopt later, of course). He spent more than a week in the hospital before we could take him home. We've felt he needs extra consideration…

But that is already bitten us in the behind. Graham is seven months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. His older brothers were sleeping on schedule at two months old; we were three for three… until Graham. He'll wake up half a dozen times, screaming and sobbing. And we've accommodated him to our own detriment.

But two days ago, Shannon decided that we were going to put our foot down and make him cry it out. The first episode went on for twenty minutes and it was excruciating. Shannon was in tears, I was distraught, and Graham sounded like he had been abandoned. But when he finally calmed down, he slept the rest of night. And he slept nine hours straight last night. It's working, it's just so hard not to run to your child when they need think they need you.

But the right way is rarely easy.